I had a gun and was ready to end my life
Hi, my name is wilmaris and I am a 22 year old divorced mother of 2 small children and this is my story.
I made a lot of unwise decisions as a teen cause I thought that I was in love but in reality was just searching for someone to fill a void that was in me. I needed to feel loved since I grew up in a home filled with drugs. I was abused as a small child in every way imaginable.
I turned to a much older man to make me feel loved and to get away from my situation at home. Well, out of that I ended up getting married for all the wrong reasons. With the marriage came two small children that I do not have with me cause I committed adultery.
I started making friends with the wrong people and started to experiment with drugs. I had a brand new car, a good job, a loving husband, two children and a beautiful brand new home that the lord had blessed me with. Well, me thinking that since I had everything it was time to party and run the streets. I crashed my car, lost my job, my husband filed for divorce and I lost custody of my children.
With this I became deeply sad and depressed with no one to turn to. I had a gun and was ready to end my life, thinking this would be the best way to get rid of all my problems and pain. But then I received encouragement from someone else in my life that did care and made me feel loved that night.
I cried and cried and fell to my knees. I told the lord that I didn't want to commit suicide, that I felt lonely and had nothing or no one to count on and needed his help to survive and feel loved. And with that I asked him to forgive me of all my past and all my sins and to come into my heart and that I wanted to have a relationship with him wanted to get to know him.
Well, this all happened a few days ago and I'm feeling somewhat better. I know that it's going to be hard for me to stay on track but I will put him first in my life and everything else will come little by little. Please pray for me that I will be strong and do what God wants me to do.
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