The
Maker of all human beings is
recalling all units manufactured,
regardless of make or year, due to
the serious defect in the primary
and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the
original prototype
units code named Adam and Eve,
resulting in the reproduction of the
same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been technically
termed, "Sub-sequential Internal
Non-morality," or more commonly
known as SIN, as it is primarily
expressed. Some other symptoms:
[d] Lack of peace and joy
[e] Selfish, or violent behavior
[f] Depression or confusion in the
mental component
The Manufacturer, Who is neither
liable nor at faultfor this defect,
is providing factory authorized
repair and service free of charge to
correct this SIN defect. The Repair
Technician, Jesus, has most
generously offered to bear the
entire burden of the staggering cost
of these repairs. There is no
additional fee required. The toll
free number to call for repair in
all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once
connected, please upload your burden
of SIN through the
REPENTANCE procedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT from the
Repair Technician, Jesus, into the
heart component. No matter how big
or small the SIN defect is, the
Jesus will replace it with:
Please see the operating manual,
HOLY BIBLE, forfurther details
on the use of these fixes. As an
added upgrade, the manufacturer has
made available to all repaired units
a facility enabling direct
monitoring and assistance from a
resident Maintenance Technician, the
Holy Spirit. Repaired units need
only make Him welcome and He will
take up permanent residence on the
premises!
WARNING: Continuing to
operate the human being unit without
correction voids the Manufacturer's
warranty, exposing the unit to
dangers and problems too numerous to
list and will result in the human
unit being permanently impounded.
DANGER: The human being units
not responding to this recall action
will have to be scrapped in the
furnace. The SIN defect will not be
permitted to enter Heaven so as to
prevent contamination of that
facility.
Thank you for your attention. Please
assist where possible by notifying
others of this important recall
notice
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