Several months ago I was thinking about someone in my past who I had spent many quality hours with; who I had had the privilege of working with in the kingdom of God.

I had had the honor of feeding a lot of ministry into their life and watching them grow as a result…

Then it all came to an end. They no longer wanted my company, They no longer wanted my input, they no longer thought of me as they had at one time.

Being a man I put they experience behind me, didn’t let myself think about it, and moved on. But on that day several months ago it suddenly came washing over me how much that whole experience had wounded me. I felt actual pain…grief… over the situation…..something I had not permitted myself to feel.

I came to church and spoke briefly about it as part of a sermon in which I mentioned the effects that rejection have on our lives and I vividly remember seeing a flash of comprehension in the eyes of many in the room. Many of you were deeply relating to what I was saying…and I determined that as soon as we finished the 40 days of community I would preach a couple of sermons of the subject.

All of us have experienced rejection at some time. In some of your lives it may have been relatively minor….or it may have been so devastating that it affected your whole life and all of your relationships.

Maybe you were the kid who was always the last in the choice for ball team. I remember that vividly. I was a decent player and was not the last chosen but I would watch the horrid display of unfairness as one person was left un-chosen and the captain would say: Alright ..I guess we’ll have to take you.

Maybe it wasn’t that exact setting but you were the one who ended up on the short end of the stick and then some idiot who probably amounted to little in the adult life made some cutting comment that has shaped the course of your self image and your life.

Far worse, than those situations, are you who felt rejected by your father, or mother, or some family member dear to you. Maybe they meant to, maybe it was unconscious on their part…but it left you with a sense of feeling unwanted. Or maybe it’s the other way around… You poured you life into your children from the first dirty diaper on and now they seem to be indifferent to your emotional needs.

Many, many of you, were all starry eyed as you met your first spouse…this was the marriage made in heaven, this kind of love had to be the kind that would stand the test of time. But your most recent memories about that person are the sharp cutting words that the felt just before they left, or the emotional trauma of finding they had rejected you for someone else….

All of these experiences leave permanent wounds whether we want to admit it or not. And these examples are just the beginning. And they only apply to a part of you in this room. I’ve never been divorced and my parents did not reject me but I can assure you that , in my world, I have experienced a lot of painful rejection.

In the world… as a Pastor; my own experience ,as well as the textbooks, say that it’s usually the people you have stretched over backward and put the most personal attention into that often. reject you the most painfully. Maybe that’s the way it is in your world as well.

Rejection can be defined as the sense of being unwanted, unneeded, unappreciated, lacking in value or personal worth in the eyes of someone we value the opinion of.

That’s always the case by the way. I walked by some young kids the other day and they looked at me and laughed. (That’s a shocking place to reach in life!) I didn’t feel rejected because I don’t know them and don’t particularly care what they think of me. There was plenty about them I could have laughed at in return.

We operate on an inner scale of 1-10, If a person is a one on the scale we couldn’t care less what they think of us. The people in Europe, I’m told, largely think that I’m and uncouth, unsophisticated, unlearned, unenlightened American and frankly, I don’t care!

If someone is a 5 on my inner scale their opinion matter to us, and the person/s who rate a 9, or 10 on our inner scale can devastate us with a single sentence.

Sometimes the rejection is so wounding and painful that our minds refuse to focus on it.

(Proverbs 15:13) A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. (NIV)

(Proverbs 15:13) A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, But by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. (NKJV)

(Proverbs 18:14) A man's spirit sustains him in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear? (NIV)

Obviously I wouldn’t be preaching these messages unless I thought I could lead you to a cure. I’m not going to offer you a psychological cure, I’m a pastor…I’m going to try, at least in these sermons, to offer a Biblical cure. I’m not blind to the fact that some rejection is so deep rooted and has so taken over the personality of the victim that healing may require the services of someone trained to take you back to the hurt.

But I put little lasting stock in that approach without a Biblical healing as it’s basis.

…….Have you ever gotten something deep under you skin? You dressed the sore and medicated the sore but healing just wouldn’t take place. Finally you figured out that in order to get the wound to heal on the service you had to dig below the surface and take out the intruder that was causing the outer wound.

I believe that God’s word clearly points out a pathway for healing a rejected or wounded spirit. And I also believe that our Savior, Jesus Christ, purposely endured the ultimate rejection of mankind around him and finally His heavenly Father to bring to us complete spiritual healing…including the healing of the wounds of rejection.

Maybe you have spent years trying to bandage the seeping wound left by rejection in your life and what you really need is, not a trip to the psychologist, but a trip to the Cross; where the shedding blood of your Savior can bring healing and wholeness to your wound/s from the inside out.

(Hebrews 12:2) Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (NIV)

Because we endure so much rejection here on earth, it is often difficult for us to understand how differently God looks at us. Many of us here have probably, heard, at some point in our life, of a God who was expecting and demanding much from us and would frown over the smallest infraction of his rules. Some of you just knew, when you fell into temptation and sinned against God, that God was coming after you with all the heavenly host and he would thrash you within an inch of your life. I sat with as lady one day who calmly told another lady that if she did not obey God he would certainly kill her kids.

We take our distorted views on acceptance that we have received and giving in our world and try to project them on the God of heaven. The God of heaven does ask much of us… but before you ever have the chance to respond he is already streaching you way with all the resources of heaven.

(Ephesians 2:1-6) As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions-- it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, (NIV)

All of this happened for you before you ever came to Christ! He never did take your performance into account, when he was deciding whether or not to accept you into his kingdom. We were dead in our sins.. Not sick, not feeling a little under the weather of our sins….we were dead in our sins! We were all gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature!!

We deserved to be objects of God’s wrath. It’s right there in “inspired black and white”.

Before you ever made a move toward God, before you were ever born so you could make a move toward God. Before your particular family showed up on the radar. Before your particular ethnic mixing made you who you would be,….God foreknew you… and “raised you up with Christ and seated you with him in heavenly realms in Christ Jesus!”

It is very significant that Jesus last prayer with his disciples before his crucifixion was for those who would follow him, then for those who would follow them, and on and on. The theme of the prayer was the relationship every one of the Christ followers would have a with their Heavenly Father.

There may be more here in Jesus prayer than we see on the surface.

(John 17:25-26) "Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them." (NIV)

Imagine the depth of love The Father must have for Jesus the Son. It’s hard to grasp. The Father sends his Son, who is a part of his own nature, to the earth to take on human form and die for the sins of mankind. A sinless Father has to witness all the vile sins of mankind transferred to his sinless Son until the Son literally becomes sin in our place. Finally he himself has to reject his own Son so that, that seething mass of sinfulness can die.

You can almost feel the infinite love of God filling the universe for his Son. But just before that take place the Son prays to the Father and says: As I take my place with your children, I pray that the love you have for me will course directly into them.

We are to become as dear to God as Jesus is!

Because the spirit of Jesus dwells within us as believers…God’s love toward Jesus is directed toward us…and because Jesus dwells within we should be able to return Jesus love for the Father back to the Father.

Let me take you one step further that that.

(Ephesians 1:3-6) Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He has made us accepted in the Beloved. (NKJV)

Here it is…part of the Biblical remedy for Rejection:

This is just one piece of the whole puzzle but it is a very important piece.

If your own family does not care for you…If your father rejected you or your mother didn’t have time for you, if your husband rejected you for someone else or your wife or your wife never showed you the love you craved.

Keep this in mind, God deeply wants you, accepts you, values you. How do I know?… Because of this little phrase:

“by which He has made us accepted in the Beloved.” (NKJV)