WHEN YOU ARE NOT
LOOKING
A true story of love
by Chaplain Jerry
Vintinner
The passengers on
the bus watched
sympathetically as
the attractive young
woman with the white
cane made her way
carefully up the
steps. She paid the
driver and, using
her hands to feel
the location of the
seats, walked down
the aisle and found
the seat he'd told
her was empty. Then
she settled in,
placed her briefcase
on her lap and
rested her cane
against her leg.
It had been a year
since Susan,
thirty-four, became
blind. Due to a
medical misdiagnosis
she had been
rendered sightless,
and she was suddenly
thrown into a world
of darkness, anger,
frustration and
self-pity. Once a
fiercely independent
woman, Susan now
felt condemned by
this terrible twist
of fate to become a
powerless, helpless
burden on everyone
around her.
"How could this have
happened to me?" she
would plead, her
heart knotted with
anger. But no matter
how much she cried
or ranted or prayed,
she knew the painful
truth - her sight
was never going to
return.
A cloud of
depression hung over
Susan's once
optimistic spirit.
Just getting through
each day was an
exercise in
frustration and
exhaustion. And all
she had to cling to
was her husband
Mark.
Mark was an Air
Force officer and he
loved Susan with all
of his heart. When
she first lost her
sight, he watched
her sink into
despair and was
determined to help
his wife gain the
strength and
confidence she
needed to become
independent again.
Mark's military
background had
trained him well to
deal with sensitive
situations, and yet
he knew this was the
most difficult
battle he would ever
face.
Finally, Susan felt
ready to return to
her job, but how
would she get there?
She used to take the
bus, but was now too
frightened to get
around the city by
herself. Mark
volunteered to drive
her to work each
day, even though
they worked at
opposite ends of the
city.
At first, this
comforted Susan and
fulfilled Mark's
need to protect his
sightless wife who
was so insecure
about performing the
slightest task.
Soon, however Mark
realized that this
arrangement wasn't
working - it was
hectic, and costly.
Susan is going to
have to start taking
the bus again, he
admitted to himself.
But just the thought
of mentioning it to
her made him cringe.
She was still so
fragile, so angry.
How would she react?
Just as Mark
predicted, Susan was
horrified at the
idea of taking the
bus again. "I'm
blind!" she
responded bitterly.
"How am I supposed
to know where I'm
going? I feel like
you're abandoning
me." Mark's heart
broke to hear these
words, but he knew
what had to be done.
He promised Susan
that each morning
and evening he would
ride the bus with
her, for as long as
it took, until she
got the hang of it.
And that is exactly
what happened. For
two solid
weeks, Mark,
military uniform and
all, accompanied
Susan to and from
work each day. He
taught her how to
rely on her other
senses, specifically
her hearing, to
determine where she
was and how to adapt
to her new
environment. He
helped her befriend
the bus drivers who
could watch out for
her, and save her a
seat. He made her
laugh, even on those
not-so-good days
when she would trip
exiting the bus, or
drop her briefcase.
Each morning they
made the journey
together, and Mark
would take a cab
back to his
office.
Although this
routine was even
more costly and
exhausting than the
previous one, Mark
knew it was only a
matter of time
before Susan would
be able to ride the
bus on her own. He
believed in her, in
the Susan he used to
know before she'd
lost her sight, who
wasn't afraid of any
challenge and who
would never, ever
quit.
Finally, Susan
decided that she was
ready to try the
trip on her own.
Monday morning
arrived, and before
she left she threw
her arms around
Mark, Her temporary
bus riding
companion, her
husband, and her
best friend. Her
eyes filled with
tears of gratitude
for his loyalty, his
patience, his love.
She said good-bye,
and for the first
time, they went
their separate ways.
Monday, Tuesday,
Wednesday, Thursday
... Each day on her
own went perfectly,
and Susan had never
felt better. She was
doing it! She was
going to work all by
herself!
On Friday morning,
Susan took the bus
to work as usual. As
she was paying for
her fare to exit the
bus, the driver
said, "Boy, I sure
envy you."
Susan wasn't sure if
the driver was
speaking to her or
not. After all, who
on earth would ever
envy a blind woman
who had struggled
just to find the
courage to live for
the past year?
Curious, she asked
the driver, "Why do
you say that you
envy me?" The driver
responded, "It must
feel so good to be
taken care of and
protected like you
are."
Susan had no idea
what the driver was
talking about, and
asked again, "What
do you mean?"
The driver answered,
"You know, every
morning for the past
week, a fine looking
gentleman in a
military uniform has
been standing across
the corner watching
you when you get off
the bus. He makes
sure you cross the
street safely and he
watches you until
you enter your
office building.
Then he blows you a
kiss, gives you a
little salute and
walks away. You are
one lucky lady."
Tears of happiness
poured down Susan's
cheeks. For although
she couldn't
physically see him,
she had always felt
Mark's presence. She
was lucky, so lucky,
for he had given her
a gift more powerful
than sight, a gift
she didn't need to
see to believe - the
gift of love that
can bring light
where there had been
darkness.
God watches over us
in just the same
way. We may not know
He is present, but
He is. We may not be
able to see His
face, but He is
there nonetheless!
Be blessed in this
thought. God Loves
You - even when you
are not looking.
